【エッセイ】Aging Society

私のSkype英会話の先生は、日本人の先生です

仕事から帰って23:30から週に2回ほどお願いしています。

エッセイでいつも言われるのは、私の今の力から考えると、現段階では15点以上とれればいいよ、ということなので、欲張らずに最低限の文法やつづりミスをチェックしていただいています。

今週は、過去問から、王道のaging問題を選びました。


TOPIC: Will societies with aging populations face a crisis in the future?

POINTS:

• Birthrate

• Family responsibility

• Health care

• Immigration

• Role of senior citizens

• Taxes


20分で書いたものを自主校正して送って、これはダメだろう!というところを突っ込んでいただくスタイルです。


Today aging society has given a lot of impacts on our society lives. I have to say that some of them are negative influences and they must lead to social crisis in the future.

crisis は弱い。

we face the critical conditions.

I’d like to mention three reasons why I think so in this essay.


First of all, (speaking of elderly people’s problems, )an increasing number of old people end up dyging alone without proper care of medication, enough attention from their families →dying alone is more common topic in news nowadays. This happens due to insufficient family responsibility. Actually our society shifts from extended family to the nuclear families one. As the a result, more seniors get less attention from the public and this could accelerate their isolation from the outside world.


many elderly people are isolated [ alienated ] from their families and tend to live alone.

first, many elderly people die alone without families around them , which is becoming familiar topics in the media today

As a result, an increasing number of old people end up dyging alone without proper care



Second, aging society also faces serious problems of low birthrate, which causes lack of younger workforce. Worker shortages might cast a shadow on our national strength, because, under this situation, we would also suffer from drought of tax revenue simultaneously.

全体として短いパラグラフになってしまっている。スムーズに流れておらず、ぶちぶち切れている印象。


along with aging society,futuer generations will face a problem associated with low birth rates

Although more and more people are retiring,

there are not enough young workers to replace the existing workforce

(As aging society advances)



Consequently the government will be struggle to ensure tax revenues to support these retiring people



company will have difficulty finding new employees (proficient/capable workers) to be competitive in the global economy


Especially, with the surging number of the elderly, we have to prospect expect

It is estimated that

larger budget for their health care fee. How can we compensate this huge cost with lower tax revenue? Should we still impose this big burden on younger generations? Additionally we also have another problem of lack of doctors in some countries too. It’s obvious that we are not ready to support the old’s welfare financially and environmentally.

doctorのくだりは明らかに変!


medical expeses for elderly people will be increasing

(More elderly people start to depend on medical insurance)

, which the government will be required to allocate more budget to welfare.

There will be fewer doctors.....

(The number of doctor is decreasing)

which give proper treatment to the elderly




In conclusion, government should take rapid measures to hamper a future crisis for both old and young generations. These problems are never the ones of remote future. Therefore it also must be important for each individual to (treat) consider aging as our their own factual actual problems. Don’t you think so?



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